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Essential additions for the workplace
vocabulary
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group,
discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to
get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm,
and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the
kids.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the
magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's work place
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find
yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic
device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank
and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter
where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've
just made a BIG mistake
WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then
enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust.
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